Nic nic everyday I miss you so much, everyday I go thinking I will wake up to this nightmare, but everyday I wake up and its just for a split second I believe you are here then I see your pictures then it hits me like a sledge hammer drilling in my chest. How I miss your kisses, hugs, smile, and those beautiful eyes that tare me inside my soul like a sword.
When I go to your house its not the same your not there I miss seeing you there. I miss when you would come over nena's.
I go back and remember you as a baby and how easy it was to make you laugh and what a beautiful laugh you had I just swing you towards the mirror and saying " whose that boy in the mirror" how I wish I could turn back time. I miss the little boy in you and I miss the young man you became you had so much life, passion and love you had for everyone. I miss looking into your eyes and now never to see them again it burns my soul like a torch. I miss when you call me Teze how I will never hear it again this is taring me apart my heart feels like its in a grinding machine shredding it into trillions of pieces.
Nearly four months has gone by and the more time passes the more the pain thickens in the pit of my soul it feels as if a large steel pipe was jammed into my soul and let the life right out of me. Theres not enough words to really explain my love and how much I miss you.
What repeats in my head is when you called the a week before you left and asked me when Ajdar was returning from europe so you go take the karate classes together with him, it burns me up inside the thought you will never be able ever to go with Ajdar to those classes.
Bud this is not the way its suppose to be its so hard to wake up everyday without you here.
I wish that GOD can turn back time for us and bring you back especially for your mom, dad & mikey they need you the most I wish GOD could grant that one wish for them and me just one wish for you to come back home to us.
I try so hard to contain my emotions around your mom, dad & mikey because I need to be there for them but when I walk away I just want to take my skin and rip it apart because the pain is too much to bare. The loss is too great and too painful and I dont know what to do sometimes. I go in a rage within myself and fight with my thoughts, feelings and the emotions take the best of sometimes because I get lost in the memories of you and it drives me nuts because I will never have anymore memories of you and this is not right. I wish life had a rewind button just to bring you back.


I miss you so much these words are not enough to express how I am feeling.
I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHHH....Teze