| DAD PAPA DUKES | I NEED YOU NOW | March 22, 2009 |
| christine | memories | March 21, 2009 |
| MELISA (SHQIPE) | MOMMY & DADDY | March 7, 2009 |
| Teze | My boy in the mirror | March 7, 2009 |
Nic Nic, I really think GOD did not give us the words that can explain of the pain we all feel. The only way I can explain myself is, it feels like I am in quick sand and drowning slowly. My heart shakes with so much pain I dont know what to do where to turn but all I can do is just scream inside myself. The anger inside of me asks WHY and its taring me apart. I feel like I am going through a wood chipper that is shredding my soul into tiny little pieces. The uncontrolable tears, shakes and ache in my soul knowing I can never see you again in this life time is eating away at my heart. I cannot hold you or hug again and its really killing me and I wish I had a magic wand that I can turn time back and take your place...
GOD knows how much I love you and Missing you is too much pain and all I keep asking GOD is WHY!!! Life was not suppose to be this way. When I see your dad how much he wants to reach out to you and hold you again and Mikey how lost he is without you and your mom she is just shrinking away and there is nothing I can do to help.....I am so pissed and angry at the whole entire world and universe that you are not here with us.
I am so sorry for anyone that reads this but I am angry that my Nic Nic is not here with us.
| Roseanne | REST IN PEACE NICK NESP0<3 | March 5, 2009 |
| Mommy | You are the air that I breathe | March 5, 2009 |
To My Soul, Serenity and Sanity..
There are no words that can describe the pain and suffering I feel. I am suffering for you in a way that is indescribable. It was not supposed to be you... I have always prepared you to be strong in the event I died.. because, I knew how hard it would be for you... I was not supposed to live my life without you... you were always with me..... even before you were born.... now I am struggling, I cant find my half of my soul.. Its gone... I need to connect with you.. I NEED IT REALLY BAD now...
I need it because I think it will help me feel you... When you died, I died too.... I try so hard to be strong in front of Mikey... I dont show my hurt and pain... he has lost so much weight...he doesnt eat as much anymore... he has it hard.. everyday he talks more and more about you and your death... he still does not understand.. that he will not get to feel your big hugs and kisses or hear your I love you lil bro... anymore... He has not slept in his room since you're gone... I dont blame him.. Daddy, sits and looks at your pictures constantly, he plays your I-POD everyday while he is driving the truck ... you got him listening to the nasty rock music you listened to.... he pierced his eyebrow with your eye ring.. I am sorry I always made you take it off... I just thought you were so handsome... my georgious boy... I didn't want your beauty to be diminished by it... even though it didn't... you know how i am... and I want to thank you for always complying with my requests....
I want to thank you for always being so good to me. You never , ever gave me a hard time about anything I asked you to do.. you just did it...even after I yelled at you for something.. you always managed to make it ok... by saying, " I love you mom, I love you mom, Mom, guess what? I love you... this wouldnt stop until I would say/// ok ok ok.. I got it... I am not upset...
I miss your hugs and kisses and all those I love you's. Mommy, I am sorry for being an idiot even when there was no true reason for you to say sorry... You always made it your business to make it right for me...You are an extraordinary boy. You were my best friend, My mother, father, sister , brother, Son and most importantly, you were my Soul.
I love YOU more than I can describe and I miss you terribly..
| anonomys | To the family | March 4, 2009 |
I'm extremely sorry for your loss and I cant even begin to imagine what you are going through. I know what all of us are going through. I honestly give you so much credit for doing this whoe website and being as strong as you are right now. I just want to show my respect and I hope you stay strong through anything.
All my respects.
REST IN PEACE NICKKKKK. WE LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
| jennny | rest in peaceee | March 4, 2009 |
i dont even know where to beginn. i hoNestly never thought that i'd have to go thru so much pain in my teen years. i never thought that i'd loose a friend -i lost my sister when i was 1O &i th0ught that was it . . . i didnt think that god could hurt me anymore but i was wrong because im sitting here writing you a letter. Nespo you had the tuffEsst faCcee butt the biGggest warrmest heartt in the worlld. sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and i begin to cry cause the first thing that comes to mind is you &how your never coming back. i try and tell myself this is just a bad dReam and i'm going to wake up soon and youll be there to hold me and tell me it was just a bad dream. i miss our long talks and y0uur advice that i rarely listened to. but i bet you nicky that if i did listen my life would never have been different. i remember when i use to cry -the long talks we'd have and you'd wipe my tears away and you told me '' jenn, you shouldnt let these assholes get to you like this, theyRee not worth itt''. i remember those bigg huggs that always put a smile on my faCe ,when i was sad they wipped away my tearss. i sit here sometimes and think about how god can be so selfish , he took you -a kyd that everyone loved . away from us. he left us all with a broken heart that'll never mend . i dont understand why god takes all these people in my life but not me? . it gets me so fuStraddeddd , anGgrryy , maDddd to the p0innt where i jus sCream on top of my lungs . sometimes i try not to cry because i know you hated it but honestly its hard because everytime i hear youur namee, thinkk of youu, or jus see your piCturee i jus completely break down to the point where i cant breathe anymore. its been a little over a month and for some reason i just still cannot believe it , i think its because i wont let myself. i wont let myself believe your gone for good cause that'll jus hurt too much. i want you to know that ill never forget you &i pray to god you wont forget me either =/ . there honestly isnt a day that goes by i dont think of youu. y0ull forever bee in my heart nespo always iLove you so much &i miss youu !.
Love always,
jennny xoxo
| demimaRie <3 | words from your sister. ily<3 | March 3, 2009 |
nicky,
i cant even believe that im writtting this rightt now. i dont even know were to beginnn. i misss youu soo muchh! writtingg to you everynite & speakingg to you thruu my dreams still isnt cutting it for me.. i wantt youuuu!!! i cant help myselff from breakingg down from time to time when i hear a song we would listen too, when i past asylum, whenn i go to the store, when i sit in my living room in the same exact spot you would sit in, or when i look at your picturess.. it just makes me want you backk more and more. we have way to many memories ; you will always be my bestfriend & my brother forever & ever. i talk about you all the time & cant keep you off my mindd. i wouldd kill for youu & i juss wishh i woulda known that night so i could of fuckingg done somethinggg!!!!!!!!!!!! i evenn wrote stuff aboutt youu.. as youu wouldd call them my "rappss" ..
i cant sleep without youu, i feel liek i cant breathe withouut youu. i cant go on without youu. there was no other liek youu. i dont kno wat to do, i cant believe this shit is truue, i just lost someone i thought i would never lose. its liek yourr out liek a light that just blew its fusee. it gets me crazy inside that yourr gone permanately.. but all i want you too do is watch over mee, make me realize things i normally wouldnt see. i juss wanna go back to the times we shared liek its suppose to be & when its my time i cant wait til you open those gates for me cus then we will be together for all of eternity
-demimarie
&
sometimes i sit home alone & cry at night, wonderingg how im gunna go on without you in my sightt. i say to myself this cant be truee this just cant bee, & then i look at the sky & smile cus i kno youur watchen over me
-demimarie
nick as youu know i make my own quotess as alwayss & i hope youu think these twoo are really special. i lovee youu & miss youu soo much that time wont even be able to heal all my paain. im soo hurrt but i can only imagine how mommy daddy & mikey feel ='( we all loveddd youuu broo . evenn thouu weree not together rite now.. withh you is where i'dd ratherr beee <3
REST iN PEACE NiCKY NESPOLiNi 4.21.92-1.3O.O9 iN MY HEART, THOUGHTS & DREAMS ALWAYS TiL WE MEET AGAiN<3
| tears from heaven | letter from heaven | March 3, 2009 |