Nicholas Marty Nespolini

i honestly dont even know where to begin. lately you been on my mind more than anything and its scary. iits hard for me to sometiimes say how ii feel sometiimes but riight now iits not. ii miisss youu soo muchh niickk. iii remember all the niights we chiilled liikethey were yesterday. ii stiill watch the viideo on jenns camera becuz your iin iit. ii usually start to cry when ii thiink of you even though ii know you wouLdnt want me too. you promiised me you wouLd come wiith me for my fiirst tattoo but you never got the chance to. iidk niickkk ii just cant beliieve you died so young. out of everyone i ever chilled with you were the last person that ii expexted to be at their wake prayiing over their coffin. i hate that your gone. i saw you a week nd a hal before iin assylum you kissed me on the cheek and waLked away. i hate what happened to you. you should still be here with us. you were soo young. but like your mother told me you and rita are up in heaven in paradise watching over me. i guess thats what gets me through the day. ii lovee youu nick &i miss you so much. ill see youu again one day. rest in peacee<3

 

Hello.

 

I found this website from a sign I saw on East Tremont Ave in the Bronx and I got curious about it when I came home, sat in front of the computer and looked through the whole website. I noticed he died very young and he seems pretty popular.  .

 

I dont know who Nick was but Rest In Peace

I wake up and go to sleep every day with one thing in mind, Seeing you again.. Holding you, hugging you, kissing you, hearing your voice, hearing you laugh (loved your laugh) hearing your funny stories, Looking into your eyes, Mostly, I think about the day I will get to share all of my pain, sorrow, thoughts, feelings, tears, happiness, joy, goals, Love with you as I always did.. I am lost, I don’t have anyone that I could talk to, as I always did with you.. You were and remain to be my rock.

I need you more than I can say. I miss hearing your crazy rock music, that pretty much drove me crazy at times... I miss watching you dance,( you really knew how to move it)  throw kisses at yourself in the mirror or just do your sexxxy move in the mirror.. I miss seeing you get upset at Mikey when he wouldn’t listen to me... That drove you crazy....I miss seeing your face before I go to sleep... YOu know how I could never sleep without you home or seeing your face....I slept with you my love, every night for many many years.. 

Booboo, I don’t know if I even sleep.. I lay down with so many thoughts and wake up with many more... I don't rest even though I close my eyes... How can I rest when I can’t see your face... I miss your gentle kisses on my face while I slept, or you tucking me into bed... I miss messing with you, getting you crazy and then telling you it was a joke… I miss hearing you call me….or just saying,  I love you Woman”  or  I love you Mommy….

I miss YOU so MUCH...I have so much to say to you... I sometimes talk to you, because I know you are near me... But it is not the same Boo, because I can’t see your face...or hear you talk back to me… You helped me more than you will ever know… YOU MADE ME WHOLE… Now I am in pieces that will not mend until I am with you again… You are my Best Friend, you are my SON, But  you are also my brother, sister, Mother, Father, MY Buddy, MY SOUL, My Serenity and My sanity… You are the air that I breathe, My oxygen… You were right when you said “ its like saying I could live without my lungs or my heart… You couldn’t nor can I…..

 

There are Times I reflect back and I fall into a screaming sorrow, because even though, I know that you were always happy.. and that you always told me how happy you were and how much you loved Daddy, Mikey and me.. or how much I meant to you and how proud you were to have us as parents… or How proud you were of me… (You always told me that you didn’t just see us as parents but as your first and last best friends too…)  I have so much time to think… Do you remember when i told you that when you are down, you always need to talk about it because the worst thing you can do to yourself is ask yourself a question and answer it too… This is exactly what I do now,  your own answers will always be filled with negativity… Although, I know how good we were to eachother, my answers are filled with thoughts that make me feel sorrowful... I Know, that you were my first priority, and that I did everything I could to be a great Mom to you and a Best friend to you…and you the same. But somehow, I feel that I could have been more… I feel that I let you down, I replay that night over and over again in my head.. Why didn't God let me see,  Why couldn’t I see, The one time that I really needed to see… I am sorry, that you were alone.. I am sorry, that I was not there to hold you and die with you… I am sooooo sorry my love, that I live when you are not here to live with me… I AM SO SORRY MY LOVE, that I will never get to see the daughters you promised to have for me first… Angelina and Haley or your son Nico… I am sorry, I will never get to see you take Daddy’s business to the heights you envisioned, I am sorry that Michael will never get to Have his Big Brother when he is a teenager… I am sorry, I wont get to see you graduate with all of your friends… you always told me that you have to graduate with your friends… I am sorry, that you wont get to live in the apartment upstairs as we discussed…or drive the car that you and daddy were just shopping for,  I am sorry that I never got to buy you the bed you wanted… (your love bed.. haha!) Or to see you make the UFC as you desired, or to continue your acting career… Mostly, I am sorry that I will never get to see your beautiful face in this life again…. Why did these people do this to you...

 HOW COULD THEY TAKE THAT FROM ME, MIKEY AND DADDY… MY question to you my love is, Should they share the same air as me? I will wait for your answer…. !!!   

dear nicky,

honestly thiis shit sucks. i just cant believe yourr gone and never coming back. i know that we werent always close but you were my friend. when we chilled we had mad fun. you always put a smiLe on everyones face. i remember last summer we were waLkin to ampere beach and we were talkin about tattoos. you told me you would come with me to get mine done &that we would get them together. unfortunetly everyone wasnt talkin when i went so you didnt come. i didnt get to talk to you before you died &that kills me. the thought alone of you not being here kills me. you were too young to die. you had your whoLe life ahead of you. you got cheated bro and so did your family. i can only imagine the pain your mom feels. you were exactly like her. you had her heart. what happened to you made me realize alot of things. but most of all that nobody iis guaranteed tomorrow. you have to live life to the fullest because you never know when gods gonna take you. honestly nick theres not a day that goes by that i dont think of you. you were an amazing kid &youll forever be in my heart.

i love you &i miss youuuu<3

N ever forget the joy and memories that his love exuded
I  n your heart, the love you shared and many times of laughter
C andles you will light in a special memory for this young man that was dear to your life
K iss his picture everyday as he was here, as he is watching and smiling over you now

 I am a friend of Hana's who I know she loved this young man so very much.
And although I never had the opportunity to meet Nick Nespolini. And as I write this condolence I feel the presence of God over me and what he is telling me is that your Nic Nic is okay up there. What I am seeing is a young man who loved dearly... Who cared about others in need.  I feel stongly in my spirit that he was a special young man, just by his tributes.   And if he cared so much about the oppressed women, he was a special young man that was God sent. I know you miss him so much, but keep in your memory the good times, the laughter, the jokes and how much he touched others lives. Think of a time where he made you laugh so hard that your stomach hurt.. These are the memories which will bring you solace. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling right now with the loss of this young man, but my prayers to the Father go up for you. And remember that Nick  was a special gift that came from God.

God bless you and your family,

nickk yur party was amazing,but it still wasnt a party without you.i made a speech im sure you herd it and how retarted i sounded beacause i couldnt even read it but i was trying to let everyone no how much you ment to me.the big brother i always wanted.i love you. restt in peace big bro..

Tuna, you and I go back, way back.  I remember when my mother and grandmother were both in the hospital and I was a teenager and had no where to go, and it was your family that took me in, and told me that if anything ever happened I would live with you and them as family.

It hurts my heart so much to see you suffer.  You taught your son to have the same selfless love that you always had and showed others.  You are a wonderful mother.

I know in my heart that he is watching over you, giving you the strength to go on another day.

You are an amazing woman~~~~~~~~~~~ I love you very much!!!!!!!!

Gail

If I could have a lifetime wish a dream that would come true I'd pray to God with all my heart for yesterday and you. A thousand words can't bring you back I know because I've tried And neither will a million tears I know because I've cried. You left behind my broken heart and happy memories too I never wanted memories... I only wanted you. um, please don't feel guilty It was just my time to go. I see you are still feeling sad, And the tears just seem to flow. We all come to earth for our lifetime, And for some it's not many years I don't want you to keep crying You are shedding so many tears. I haven't really left you Even though it may seem so. I have just gone to my heavenly home, And I'm closer to you than you know. Just believe that when you say my name I'm standing next to you, I know you long to see me, But there's nothing I can do. But I'll still send you messages And hope you understand, That when your time comes to cross over, I'll be there to take your hand.

nic nic i was reading some stuff and these seem to stick in my head not sure why but thought it might help: Not how did he die, but how did he live? Not what did he gain, but what did he give? These are the units to measure the worth Of a man as a man, regardless of birth. Not, what was his church, nor what was his creed? But had he befriended those really in need? Was he ever ready, with word of good cheer, To bring back a smile, to banish a tear? Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say, But how many were sorry when he passed away. _______________________ He is Gone You can shed tears that he is gone, Or you can smile because he lived, You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back, Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see him Or you can be full of the love that you shared, You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember him and only that he is gone Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on, You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your back, Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on. ______________________When I am gone, release me, let me go I have so many things to see and do You must not tie yourself to me with tears Be happy that I have had so many years I gave you my love, you can only guess How much you gave me in happiness I think you for the love each have shown But now it is time I traveled on alone So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must Then let your grief be comforted by trust It is only for a while that we must part So bless the memoriss in your heart I will not be far away, for life goes on So if you need me, call and I will come Though you can not see or touch me, I will be near And if you listen with your heart, you will hear All of my love around you soft and clear Then, when you must come this way alone I will greet you with a smile and a "Welcome Home"