Nicholas Marty Nespolini

HEY MY LOVE,

WENT TO SEE THE SISTERS TODAY.. THEY ARE AMAZING MY LOVE... THEIR MUSIC AND VOICE MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS IN HEAVEN..

I DONT KNOW MY LOVE, WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE INFO THAT HAS BEEN PRESENTED TO ME.. I HAVE SPOKEN TO THEM, AND THEY THINK THAT THEY ARE HERE FOR SOMETHING TOO...

PLEASE TELL GOD AND MOTHER MARY THAT I LOVE THEM... AND I AM GREATFUL THAT THEY ARE PROVIDING YOU THE LOVE THAT YOU DESERVE.. TELL THEM NOT TO GIVE YOU SO MUCH, YOU MIGHT GET SPOILED AND I MIGHT GET JEALOUS.. HAHA..

MY LOVE, I AS TOLD THAT I SHOULD CHANGE MY NAME... YOU KNOW FOR WHAT!!! SO, I HAVE DECIDED THAT WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT., I WILL CHANGE IT TO ANGELINA.. MY FAVORITE NAME AND THE NAME YOU PICKED FOR YOUR FIRST DAUGHTER... I HOPE YOU WILL BE PROUD.

I RECEIVED A MESSAGE TODAY FROM COUSIN MELISSA, SHE SENT ME SOME INFO ABOUT A BEAUTIFUL BOY WHO SUFFERED SEVERE INJURIES.. MY LOVE, I AM HOPING TO GET A VISIT WITH HIM. N.E.S.P.O  WILL PROVIDE SOME FINANCIAL COMFORT AND HOPEFULLY SOME EMOTIONAL COMFORT TO HIM AS WELL. PLEASE ASK GOD AND MOTHER MARY TO FOLLOW ME AND WHILE I AM THERE TO PLEASE PUT THEIR ARM AROUND THIS BOY AND GIVE HIM THE GRACE, LOVE AND SERENITY THAT IS REQUIRED FOR HIM TO HEAL PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY.

MY LOVE, THERE IS SO MUCH I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.. I WILL LEAVE SOME FOR OUR PRIVATE MOMENTS.. HOWEVER, I NEED TO JUST TELL YOU A LITTLE MORE ABOUT TODAY..

I WAS WEARING MY CAPRI PANTS, (MAUVE PAIR) ANYWAY, AN ELDERLY WOMAN APPROACHED ME AND SAID OH MY GOD, THEY MADE HIM LOOK SO MUCH LIKE HE IS.. i DIDNT UNDERSTAND, BUT SHE TURNED TO HER FRIEND AND SAID, DONT YOU SEE THAT... HOW COULD THEY DO THAT? SO HER FRIEND SAID,, HE LOOKS LIKE ELVIS.. IS THAT WHO YOU ARE REFERRING TO, (I AM STILL LOST) UNTIL THE LADY SAID NO, I AM TALKING ABOUT THAT HANDSOME BOY THAT IS ALL OVER THE NEIGHBORHOOD.. THE BOY THAT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT.. THEN I REALIZED THAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT THE TATTOO... THEY ASKED ME IF I KNEW YOU... I CHOKED UP, THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO JUST CRY IN FRONT OF THEM.. BUT I HELD MYSELF AND SAID YES, HE IS MY SON. THEY OFFERED THEIR CONDOLENCES AND THEN WENT ON TO TALK ABOUT YOU... IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THEY KNEW YOU, BUT THEY DIDNT.. THEY JUST HEARD ABOUT YOU MY LOVE...

ADDIITONALLY, THE SISTERS HAD A MASS TODAY... THEY PRAYED FOR YOU.. THEY ALSO HEARD SOME STORIES ABOUT YOU..

MY LOVE, YOU TOUCHED SO MANY IN YOUR LIFE, AND MANY MORE IN YOUR DEATH.. I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE TO MANY PEOPLE... MOST IMPORTANTLY, I HOPE YOU DO NOT FORGET HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE TO ME. YOU ARE THE REASON WHY I BREATHE.. YOU WERE AND REMAIN TO BE MY SOUL, SERENITY AND SANITY... I HOPE THAT YOU ARE WITH LOVE AND HAPPINESS ALWAYS.. I HOPE THAT YOU ARE FILLED WITH GOD'S LOVE.. I ALSO HOPE THAT YOU WILL WAIT FOR ME.. I NEED TO KNOW MY LOVE THAT YOU WILL NOT GO UNTIL I GET TO YOU..

I NEED YOU TO FEED MY SOUL THE ENERGY THAT IS REQUIRED TO GIVE ME THE WILL THAT I LOST THE DAY MY SOUL DIED.... YOU KNOW THAT I CANT MAKE IT WITHOUT YOU.. I CAN'T... AS MUCH AS I KNOW THAT I NEED TO MAKE IT RIGHT FOR SO MANY PEOPLE.. I CANT DO IT WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE.. THIS IS HOW IT WAS MEANT TO BE... YOU AND ME KID, FOREVER...  SO, PLEASE STICK AROUND FOR A LITTLE WHILE, KEEP SHOWING UP SO I CAN SEE YOU NEAR ME, FEEL YOU, SMELL YOU... I WONT MAKE IT ANY OTHER WAY.

PLEASE VISIT DADDY TONIGHT, PLEASE VISIT HIM IN HIS DREAMS OR WHILE HE IS AWAKE.. WHISPER PAPADUKES IN HIS EAR, KISS HIM AND LET HIM KNOW YOU ARE THERE... HE NEEDS IT !

REST... YOU MAY NEED A LITTLE MORE ENERGY FOR HIM, BECAUSE HE NEEDS A WHOLE LOT RIGHT NOW.. HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH.. HE MISSES HIS BUDDY, HIS HANG OUT PARTNER.. DO SOMETHING TONIGHT MY LOVE, THAT WILL MAKE HIM AWARE THAT IT IS YOU... DO IT FOR HIM AND DO IT FOR ME.. HE REALLY IS HAVING IT HARD..  BUD, ITS ONLY BEEN THREE MONTHS AND FOR THE BOTH OF US, IT IS ALREADY A LIFETIME.. GIVE HIM THE STRENGTH THROUGH YOUR LOVE... SHOW HIM THAT YOU ARE HERE WITH HIM TOO....

AND AS FOR MIKEY, YOU KNOW THE DRILL... HE IS YOUR LIFE... HE ALWAYS WAS.. EVEN THOUGH HE WOULD GET YOU CRAZY AT TIMES.. YOU LOVED HIM SO MUCH, HE WAS YOUR # 1 PRIORITY IN LIFE.. KEEP IT THAT WAY, ESPECIALLY WHEN I FAIL TO SEE... BE MY EYES MY LOVE.. DONT LET NOTHING HAPPEN TO HIM..

DONT FORGET WHAT I ASKED YOU TO DO... I HOPE YOU HAVE BEEN TALKING TO THEM FOR ME..

AND ONCE AGAIN, WAIT FOR ME.. MOMMY WILL BE COMING HOME SOON.... WHERE WE CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER..AS ONE! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART, SOUL, AND WITH EVERY BREATHE I TAKE.. EVERY MOVE I MAKE IS WITH YOU IN MIND, BODY AND SPIRIT.. I WILL FOREVER ACHE AND BURN IN PAIN, UNTIL WE ARE TOGETHER AS ONE... I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOO MUCH!

Hey Bud,

I dont know where to begin, I am lost for words, I am just lost. I am hurting so badly right now.. As if it were just yesterday that I went to wake you up... I cant stop thinking about that day my love. I cant stop thinking about you... I am hurting sooo much, I try to keep myself with some grace, but with each day that passes, it becomes harder. I am finding it really difficult to hold myself to the promises I made to God, Please my Love, if I go off track, Ask him to forgive me... Ask Mother Mary to forgive me too... I know that she suffered the same way, but, My Love she had much more Grace than me..

Please, Please ask them to understand... I am really trying !!! But its the hardest thing I have been made to endure.. You see, My Love, both you and mikey are the only things that they knew I could not endure to lose... I cant breathe, I dont want to..

 

I know you were sleeping with us yesterday.. Felt you climb into the bed.. Felt you on my right leg.. I can not begin to thank you enough for staying here with me... Please dont ever go.. even though I know that heaven is where you truly need to be ... right now my love, just stay here with me.. Without what I see and feel , I truly would not make it... Its all I can have of you, it will destroy me if you go... I am sorry for being selfish... I should be telling you to go to heaven and be happy.. I am hoping that we can go together... so, please wait... Please ask God to watch over you and mikey... I really need the help...Please ask him to be there in my time of need... let him be my eyes when my vision fails me.. be my lite when i am left in the dark, be my right hand when mine is broken, be my friend when I need someone to talk to.. Most importantly, be there for Mikey.. Please ask God to watch over him as if he were watching over his own eyes.. with the delicate love and humbleness he has within his soul.... Mikey needs it...

I made two promises to God, I will meet my end of one bargain...I will meet with the Sisters, and with the Father to start.. I will help the poor.. those in need of love and hope, I will spend time with the dying and help them see the grace in death...  However, My love, Not sure if I will fullfill the other one... This is why I need you to talk to him.. Pull rank my love, Get Harry, Farije, Bute, Mona, Mark, Papa, Grandpa, Flip, Sonny, Johnny, Jerry, Marty, Frank, and anyone else I forgot to assist you with this task...   

 

My Love, I often hear people say negative things about God, and I am sorry that they do.. I am truly appreciative and greatful that they have been here for me... I know as clear as i can see that God, Jesus and Mother Mary are there with you. You are along side them.. I also know that you are bringing them to me...Please tell them to be here, to guide me, I will do their chores... I will make a difference to those I encounter.. I will not be selfish with my vision, I will appreciate the gift of my sight and make it right... Tell them to please measure me by what I have done and not solely on what I may do wrong...

 

I will forever burn in pain for you.. you are my soul, my heart, my life... the air that I breathed...

I miss you sooo much !

hey nick, once i open your website i cant help but cry . yesterday may 2nd was your fundraiser. tears were shed because we miss you so much . i read you a poem and i hope you heard it. i know you were there because i know you wouldnt just leave us . yesterday i felt like you were gunna show up any moment like guys im here. but i didnt get to see you. i looked at the pictures watched the videos heard the speaches and i still cant believe your gone. i stood infront of that tv and watch you move through the videos and it hit me. i felt my heart rip out. and i couldnt move from there either . because i had to see you again. the way you were. i  cried and cried but i knew thats all i was getting in seeing you. nick i miss you so much. scott remembered the coffee . he wants some now. i make you your cup of bustelo everyday in your mug and i always will . youll always have your place here . no one can fill it . iloveyou so much. you know im so sad we lost you. but im so happy i got to know you. im so happy we shared our memories. im so happy you looked out for. im blessed to have met and loved angel. iloveyou ! always and forever.

ashlee<3

Hey Nic,

I just wanted to tell you again how happy I was to be a part of your party, your foundation, and especially to finally meet your Mom.  We had such an awesome time at your celebration.  I brought along your cousin's Sarah and Nikki, Sarah's friend Brittany, and my mom, your Great Aunt Phyllis.  Because of you we got to meet so many family members.  You have touched my life in such a positive way.  Family is what really matters the most.  Your cousin Nikki knew what had happened to you, but when she saw our family, your death became real to her.  She kept asking me why God would take someone who was doing so much good here on earth away from us.  She was moved by your friends speeches and she cried when your Mother spoke about you.  When we got home she went to her room and hung the shirt I bought her with your picture on it in her room.  She says that she did that so that you can watch over her.  She considers you to be her Guardian Angel now.  You are mine too.  I am wearing my shirt today.  You are close to my heart. 
God Bless you Nic Nic, and thank you once again for showing us how good life can be.

Love,
Cousin Melissa

nic nic your party was yesterday and it was great what your mom and dad are doing is so awesome there was a lot of people there and every single person there missed and loves you its amazing how many people love you i really sat back and looked around and i saw everyones face and nic nic you really made an impact on everyone including me you have changed everyones life .. its still so weird when i see your pictures and i just dont believe i was just waiting to see you walk out and come hang out with us .. i know that we couldn't see you but i know you were there .. i was watching the video from your first birthday and i was sitting at the table with my mom and now 17 years later im sitting there and your not there it just doesnt make sense it just doesnt nicnic .. the guy who did the posters came up to me at the party and said the picture of me and you is the most beautiful picture hes ever seen haha were hottttt!!!!!i every song i hear makes me soo sad i just really really wish i could change this for everyone but i i cant i had a really crazy dream lol i dont know if u know wat it was lol i still dont know if u can like get in my head but it was crazy and i woke up so happy cuz i thought u were still here it was a really happy second well nic nic i promise that im going to try and help your mom and dad lol i love him ... and mikey with whatever they ask me to do and dont forget about me please make sure you stop by once in a while just for a cigg or to listen to me for a lil while i really miss you so much and 1 more thing please try and help me be just as good as you if its possible lol i love you so much nic your my lil baby cousin lol and i didnt show it much by yelling at you lol and telling you when u come somewhere with me you leave with me even when u have to use the bathroom hahaha but nicnic i really love you miss you so much kidd talk to you later love you always xoxo

heyy nickk,

i just went on here andd i realized that my little brother wrote something... i didnt even know he knew how i felt. Nick do u remeber when you came over and my brother was playing the xbox and u went up to him and were like " bro u goota move back cuz u can go blind like that" and he was completely oblivious that you were even talking to him and i burst out laughing and you looked at me and smiled... i'll never forget that smile.. Nickk i miss you so much &+ i think my brothers right i dnt think im gonna feel better... i cant believe your gone!!!!!!

Nick i just got back from your party ad i wish you could of been there. When i was getting ready to go there i felt like i was getting ready to go hang out with you all over againn.. i miss thatt. i miss getting myself ready so i could see you.. nickk idc what i even look like anymore. it doesnt matter to me. When i was at the party & the guy was singing and cordero was playing his gutair i felt you! i really did i knew you where there.., but i didnt wanna say anything because i didnt want to upsept anyone more. Nick thanks for being there for everyone today. We all miss youu... and we will continue to spread your love.

mi sis was one of your friends. i think how bad she feels and i just wnat to cry

i hope she will fell better but it seems like it will never happen


RIP NICK i think you were so coll

                                         from christines litl bro

My love, it is only 3 months, It feels like 3 hundred years since I saw your beautiful face.. Heard your voice, Looked into your eyes.. Most importantly, felt our soul alive within me...

The day you went to heaven, was the day i was sent to hell... I live in it everyday with this unbearable pain... I am afraid, My Love,  that I am going to live in this pain forever... Everyday without your presence is too long.. I am holding on to the beautiful imagination of us reuniting soon... I need your eyes, your smile and your hugs this time to last forever....No more pain, No more sorrow, no more tears, no more hollowness, no more aimlessness, no more difficult breathing and finally no more yearning to see you... I will be with you forever and ever...

 

My Love, I am going to remember this pain My Love, even after I die... I dont want to forget it.. Because I dont want to ever leave you or you leave me in the next life... I know that we are always so eager to run and help.. but next time, I will hold back from that consideration, because I dont want to ever not see your face again... I hope God understands that this can only be in this lifetime...

My Love, I would give my life up in a hot second for you, if I knew that I can have you back, even if it is for a moment.. It sounds desperate, but I am desperate to see you... I am sooooo desperate...

Sometimes my love, I want to scream, I dont know if you can feel the roar that is lurking inside of me.. I often do not scream and freak out, because I am so afraid that you can feel it and I dont want you to feel sad, or even cry.....

My Love, I ask that you help me , I really need to know  that you were not crying that night, I need to know that you were not scared... I neeeeed to know my love, that you were not in pain...

How could she not help you.. You always stopped and helped everyone.. you even stopped and fed stray animals.. Why.. did you have to go alone...  Someone dying alone has always been the hardest thing for me to accept.

why did it happen to my precious... to My soul.. to My Love..

why did it happen to the heart of my heart... I need to know my love... I need to know .. PLEASE Give me some serenity, some sanity.. I am lost without my SSS..... It is hard my love, All I think about is  whether you were crying for me..

My Love,  

Please tell God, that I thank him from the depths of my being, for taking good care of you, and providing you with the unconditional love that you were accustomed to here... I know he loves you.. PLEASE tell him that I am working hard to keep my end of the bargain...and I will continue to do so..

I need him to watch over MIKEY and LOVE him, HOLD HIM with his right hand and Guide HIM.. ASk him to PLEASE be my eyes when I can not see and ensure that Mikey will always be free from harm....He is so hurt, He needs the extra love and guidance....

Hug him for me and ask of him to give Daddy strength, serenity and simplicity... Give his soul the peace it needs to continue this life with some happiness...

Most importantly, Ask him to shed light upon the direction N.E.S.P.O is to go... We will follow the path necessary to do his work...

AS for me... I want no reward..I want no hugs from God (I love him ) But,  All I want is you! 

I love you forever.. Our soul will become one again one day soon!

 

 

My Love, Where can I go to talk with you... I have so much to say.. I am really burning with pain inside. I am lost.. You were my best friend and I am so lost without you. Today, was rough my love, it was a repeat for me. THe pain is soooo thick.. There is sooo much loneliness inside.. Where do I go my love to find you!! I need your Hugs... boy do I need your I love you, and your eyes and smile everyday.... I am soo sorry that I was not worthy to leave this world first... It is soooo hard.

I look forward to being apart of change and making it right for others in need through your foundation... Please be there on SAturday, Please guide us to those in need... YOu know the rule... No selective vision and no judgment.. Just Love... Take us there so we can spread your love for you and for us...

Father Pat, Sent us something today that was very nice.. Nick I can see why you loved him so much.. I love him tooo..

Jenn shared your little secret with opt #1 and 2.. too cute.. Stacey misses you, you can see it in her eyes when she talks.. she trys to hold back her tears, My Love, I know that they really loved you too...Danny's charm is amazing... you chose the right one to write that to.. he is a good kid, a teddy bear..

I was out late today with Carol.. handing out your flyer... I hope we can make a difference better than we ever did before..

MY Love , please ask God and Mother Mary to guide us, to guide me to the places that I have to go, to the people I have to see (the children and mothers and Seniors ) that need our love.. I want to make a difference.. I want to make a difference to as many as possible. I then want God to do what we spoke about..

The arrangement my love still stands.. YOu know what it is .. There is no changing that... you know when I say something I mean it.. SO., be prepared and not pre-occupied.. need your undivided attention at that time. I am going to need you, Harry, Farije, Bute, Mark, Mona and Papa and Grandpa to do their thing.... I will whisper the rest to you... My love.. I will ache in pain for you until I see you again.. Hopefully, not too long.. Please ask God to see not what I am now but what I have already done...

Hey BooBoo, I am thinking about so many memories of us. Its playing in my head like a movie projector. I cant stop thinking about you.... I miss you so much... My Love it seems like an eternity... Forever since I last saw your beautiful face, your smile and those eyes that would melt my heart... I am lost and broken..

Booboo.... I called your phone so many times these past few days... I thought it would comfort me... I guess it did... hearing you... But, then It hurt all the more when yet again reality set in and I realized that this is all I have now, your recording.... your pictures and memories...The pain sets in and it all repeats over and over again.... (NEVER ENDING PAIN & AGONY INSIDE and ALL AROUND)

My Love, I have been getting these thoughts that are just popping into my head... Thoughts that are not mine... Thanks!! Please keep telling me things.

Thanks for making me check on Marty Yesterday... Doctors said one more hour and he would have died.... I am sooooooo sorry my love, you depended on her to do the same you did for marty... I always told you to trust in yourself and us when it came to your health and life... I wish I could have seen or known that you needed me... , If it were not for Mikey,  I would have laid down with you... ( I feel Trapped My Love) We could have closed our eyes to this life together and entered the next as one... I love you more than words can say.. you are my soul, my life, my best friend.

 

I know my love you havent left, I know this because I can feel you , like I did last night... and I dont want you to leave yet... You have to stay around... because If I do not see you, smell you and feel you as I have been I wont be able to do this life.... So, Please My Love... Just stick around, I need to get my job done... And then we will be here waiting together for Daddy and CHamp and Mikey...and now Marty...  We cant lose eachother....

BooBoo, Do you remember how I used to get when I would wait for you to come home, when I didnt know where you were... 10- 15 minutes seemed like a lifetime in hell... do you remember what I used to tell you... That is how I feel every single minute now... My thoughts of not knowing for sure gets me in a mental craze... I cant function... I dont want to be around anyone.. i want to scream, attack, Rip down the walls... I dont want to breathe... I just want to go and find you... although It sounds selfish, I know you know what I need... Just please give me that solace.. that serenity,, and SAnity... I need it until I get to you...

I wish I knew where I can go to find you... Where heavens gates are and what is the shortest route there... I think of so many things.... you know... we spoke about it !!!! I just cant get the right answer my love..... I need to know the right answer... the right choice... Because it needs to be right..

My Love, Mikey is happy with Marty... Again thank you like usual you found a way to make it right ... I AM PROUD OF YOU!

I LOVE YOU .... I MISS YOU..... !